Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
