I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
