I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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