I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
