I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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