carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He shit in the fireplace
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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