Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize