I want you more than these girls want KFC
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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