girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize