What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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