Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
