how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
