i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
