its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
