we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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