I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you would pick up someone in the library
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Randomize
