the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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