please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
