I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So squirting runs in the family.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
