I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
