I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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