there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
