There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
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