Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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