I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
