I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
