Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
