ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
