physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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