Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize