She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
