pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
