She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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