Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
