My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
