this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
