Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
