it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
