Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
