Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize