therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
