Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
