If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
