You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
