You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
