I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
