I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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