So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Shame - the story of my life.
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