there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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