Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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