We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
