You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
