On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
