Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
