evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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