I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You did what with his pubic hair?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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