I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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