I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
