Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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