It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
