i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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