Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
