im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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