Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
