HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize