who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
