btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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