You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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