I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
