Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
