he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
