One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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