at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
